01.  glitter thighs

In a world where men don’t leave us.
Inside a home that we built with our own hands
Where I become more than just a fantasy
I lie to the child I babysit when she asks me what I’m doing
“Making a grocery list” I reply
That is not the truth
My glamorous reality where all I can do is write down my most intrusive thoughts

I am a bitch and a sick fuck.

This is the truth

Almost thirty
still processing his hands on the steering wheel and him falling asleep at a bar mitzvah I know a man who succeeds in manipulation
But lacking the jewish guilt

Nobody should envy me

I am made of old silver fillings, torn red ribbons, and a seashell collection from 2005.

I am the elaborate dinner he planned for months
He eats me
and
I’m gone